A recent blog posted by a Magnet Tribune staff writer, junior Linda Rodriguez ("Haircuts for Less"), reminds me of an incident many years ago at the old Mercy Hospital, during the years I taught middle school.
Well, I found out then and several times more recently that Mercy Hospital (now LMC) shows no mercy to anybody.
At the time it was painful but now it's funny! I still get a kick out of telling it after all this time.
I had to get some blood taken out for some reason I no longer remember, and my doctor told me to go to Mercy to get this done. So I got there, did the paperwork, and somebody took me to a small room.
Waiting for me was a young woman who had tattoos covering her arms -- including spider web images on both elbows! It wasn't hard to imagine where she had spent the past few years! I'll call her the would-be vampire.
She was friendly and we chatted a bit. Then the fun began!
Would-be vampire: "This won't hurt. It won't take but a minute."
Me: "Ok."
So the needle goes into my elbow joint. Out comes nothing. No blood. She missed the vein.
Would-be vampire: "Oops! Sorry. I'll try again."
Me: "Ok."
Again, the needle goes into my arm. Out comes nothing. No blood. She missed the vein again.
Would-be vampire: "Oops. Sorry. I'll try again."
And again...and again...and again...and again...and again!
SEVEN TIMES!!!
Me: A loud sigh.
Would-be vampire: "Maybe I ought to call the supervisor."
So, in comes the supervisor.
Supervisor demonstrates to the would-be vampire how to find the vein and sticks the needle in again, for the EIGHTH TIME!!!!! Blood comes out! She hit blood! Yea!
Supervisor (to me): "Now, that didn't hurt, did it?"
Me: "Um, well, she had stuck me seven times before you came in."
The supervisor looks at me in an odd way.
Would-be vampire: "This is my first time to draw blood by myself!" she said, smiling.
She was excited I was her first patient. She was also happy I didn't get angry.
Would-be vampire: "You're a very patient man. Thank you for not getting angry."
The supervisor asked me what I did.
Me: "I teach ESL reading at Memorial Middle School."
The supervisor and would-be vampire thanked me and I thanked them then left.
She was a student at Texas Careers, and had found her calling in drawing blood from patients. It's hard to fault somebody trying to better herself.
A few months later I had to go back to Mercy-less Hospital for something else (I no longer remember what)
and a young woman approached me, wearing a long-sleeved blouse. A piece of tattoo peeked out from her blouse collar. It was the would-be vampire. She'd been promoted to regular vampire.
Regular vampire: "Hi, sir! Do you remember me?"
Me: "Yes. How are you doing?"
Regular vampire: "I've gotten really good at drawing blood!"
Me: "Um, that's good. Are you going to take blood from me today?"
Regular vampire: "No. You're going with another lady."
Me: "Um, good."
So, we said good-byes and I went to the other vampire to get blood taken out. That one needed just a minute to get it.
Moral of the story: None, really, unless it's to not get the vampire taking blood from your arm angry or excited!